If you've been in Love and had that Love reciprocated, then you probably don't need to read this. If you have never been in Love and are looking forward to it in the future, then read this with a pinch of salt and a shedload of common sense. If you think you have been in Love but have never had that Love reciprocated, then this one's written especially for you.
I used to think that everyone deserves Love, but I don't think that anymore. When you're talking about romantic love, wondering when he / she is going to come into your life, waiting for your soul mate to finally find you, then allow me to break it to you - there is a possibility that soul mate ain't coming. Reciprocated romantic love is not a right, it's a privilege. It's a privilege that not everyone has the good fortune of experiencing.
Have you got your knickers in a twist? Chill, okay. Before you start accusing me of being a cynical, patronising, bitter old hag, let me just re-iterate that I did once believe that everybody deserved Love (the capital L, romantic type of love). But that's because I used to be the most idealistic little so-and-so there ever was. I believed everyone deserved Love, I hated the world because orang utans were dying forest clearings and turtles are choking on plastic in the oceans. I secretly patted myself on the back for thinking that skin colour doesn't mean anything to me (until I hit puberty and realised - then - that I couldn't possibly fall in love with an African American man, or Indian or Chinese, etc).
My point is, I was hyper-idealistic back then. Now, at 40-something, having been (what I then was convinced) in Love with someone, fully expecting that someone to reciprocate that Love, and finding out that it was not, in fact, reciprocated, I realised a Truth of Life - that reciprocated romantic Love is not a Right. It is a Privilege. Reciprocated Love is something that God blesses on whoever it is in whose Fate it is written. I know this may sound unfair to you, and the other Truth of Life is - Life is sometimes Unfair. That's just the way Life is. Some people are born blind, some don't have legs or arms, some die as kids, others live to be a hundred. Don't bother philosophising why that is. It's just the nature of this imperfect existence we are in. Perfection is in Heaven, here on Earth, Life sometimes have lumps.
It probably didn't help, back then, that cartoons like Cinderella (and God knows how many romance novels) got me into thinking that life is meant to turn out like that - that one day my Prince will come and rescue me, right? Not only was I hyper-idealistic back then, I was also quite naive, possibly hyper-naive. In fact, come to think of it, I think I was hyper-naive till roughly the age of 35. I lacked the sensibility that a lot of people have, to see and realise that you shouldn't expect life to always turn out like they do in the movies (the feel-good ones, not the Alien vs Predator ones). After all, everyone around me (older cousins, aunts, uncles, etc) got married and had kids, so there was not reason for me to believe otherwise. But the fact is, Disney movies (just like all other movies) have some Truths, but mixed with a shedload of untruths that are not pointed out or clearly spelled out to you. But hey, I didn't know that back then. In my naiveté, I swallowed the storyline whole and believed in it one hundred percent. Yes, my pre-teenage years was pretty freaking awesome, as I kept shoving book after book of this propaganda into my head, and looked forward to the 'prince', the romance, the bliss of it all that is to come. It made me a pretty peppy little kid. I could conquer the world running on that dope alone.
When the bubble finally burst and I had my hopes dashed completely, it was pretty awful (understatement). I think my depression began then. But the really funny thing was, just when I gave up (finally) on 'true love', Real love appeared, with all its glorious imperfections. And for that, I tell myself these days, I am privileged and blessed. For that I remind myself to be grateful and never take it for granted.
So there. That's all I wanted to say for now - that reciprocated Love is not a right, it is a privilege, and not everyone is fortunate to experience it. Now, don't let what I write here dishearten you. And please - God forbid - don't let it depress you. I'm not going to tell you that everything's going to be alright; I haven't arrived at that point in life where I can look you in the eye and say, 'It'll be alright.' without feeling like I'm lying. I'm married now but I still get anxious when I venture to ponder on the possibility of, for whatever reason, finding myself alone again. I mean, there are practical things to worry about (another story for another day) as well as mental / emotional considerations. The point of my writing this is I wish someone had told me back then, that Life sometimes throw you curves and not everything you expect to happen will happen. Maybe if that had been the case, I wouldn't have been so bitterly disappointed and sad and depressed and broken when so and so didn't Love me back.
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